What Now?

“Your as healthy as can be…” My doctor glances up at me, smiling. It’s a compliment, but it’s much more than that. For a moment, those words freeze in my brain. “Your as healthy as can be”, but is that the goal? Did I reach something? What is the goal now? To stay healthy? That sounds dull! What now?

Those thoughts wouldn’t let me go. Is that really the destination? And then the goal of that destination is to stay in that destination, or am I supposed to do something else with my health, besides maintain it?

Like, being married. I was told that marriage was holy (which it is). I was told to wait to have sex (which you should). And so I waited and waited and waded through what felt like a thousand relationships before I decided that this one might last. So, I got married. And had sex. Now what?

Is the point now to stay married or isn’t there something that we can do together that I could never have done by myself? (I almost said, like having kids, but these days, I could have twenty kids if I wanted, in whatever way I chose, without there being a man in sight.) Isn’t there more to marriage than staying married? Isn’t there more to health than staying healthy?

Is there more to being in love with God, than just staying in love with God?

It hit me, that all these things: health, wealth, relationships, are all spring boards to something else. But to what?

With God, it should be loving my neighbor as myself, but I haven’t even gotten that down. It should be to take care of the poor, feed the hungry and help those who are helpless. I can hardly maintain my own stuff.

They forgot to tell me how to do this part.

Or maybe they don’t even know.

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