The Stories That We Are

There are some movies that, after watching, I feel as though I’ve been given a gift – a new perspective or a shift in my thinking.

Big Fish is one of them.

It’s the story of a man who isn’t certain of who his father is because of the tall tales he’s grown up with. The lines between truth and fiction blurr and the son takes a journey to discover the father that feels he’s never known.

It’s a bit odd. There’s some  nudity and a few bad words. This is not recommended for children.

As I watched the father’s life unfold,  I couldn’t help but think of my own and all the stories that make it up.

Some are crazy; like the time when we went to Chicago and met some of the most incredible people. We tried to move there, believing it was God’s calling. Every door kept slamming in our face until we looked around for those open windows.  One was labeled Louisville, Ky. It was the last place that I pictured myself in. Now, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.

There’s the time where I met my husband. The opportunity of a lifetime landed in my lap . . . or I landed in his.

I could tell you about the day that I went looking for yard sales and the only  one that I found belonged to a friend that I had lost contact with. She introduced us to our favorite church.

I’ll never forget the day, in 1999, when my boyfriend of 1 1/2 year broke off our relationship. I was devastated. Laying on my best friend’s floor, I begged, pleaded, and asked God why this had happened,  God’s only response was, “Trust Me.”

On the way, I have met some amazing people. I have stories of heartbreak and sorrow, too; some that, even now, I don’t know the end of. At times, I beg to know how things will finish but all I hear is the flick of the turning pages, day by day, prayers going unanswered and life looking like it will never change.

This is far from the truth.

The stories add up, like fresh water stones from a river – brought to the surface, wet and exposed, reflecting the sunlight – all the stories that make up “me”. As I live out my days, I realize that these moments are not only days flipping on the calendar. Like a scroll they unfold, one line at a time. The ink is written in water and blood and tell of a greater story –  God’s amazing love. This is His story. I’m only a very small part of it.

Finishing the movie, I realized that I shouldn’t regret a single moment of my life. In God’s hands, His ability to create something new is incomparable. Nothing goes to waste. There isn’t one moment that can’t be used for His glory. Even the ugly and tattered stories reveal His incredible love and power of transformation.

By sharing my story, I hope that you can see His love in the etching. This can be your story. Everybody needs a good story and He longs to be apart of yours!

I’m want to expose my self a bit. I don’t want you to walk away from this blog thinking that I’ve never experienced anger or sadness, or the feeling of being lost.

Over two years ago, we were figuring out where God wanted us and it felt like we were underwater, trying to communicate,  yet only able to watch the muffled words and frantic bubbles slip to the surface . I wrote this email to a dear friend when I didn’t know where we were going to end up. It’s raw and harsh. I swore like a sailor and it took everything in me not to break down in that hotel computer room. I’m sharing this because I want you to know that I know where you’ve been.

It’s frightening. You feel like you’re going to die. But, the story isn’t over yet. You will make it! Somehow you keep walking, even when your feet drag and your eyes bulge from all the tears. You lash out in your prayers and you stumble as the water seems to rise around you. But, you keep crawling. Suddenly, you find yourself on the other side. You step onto dry ground and you praise the Lord above that you are alive because you really didn’t know how God was going to pull you through.

You will make it. I promise. I’ve crossed those waters. And, I’ve lived enough to know that those waves, as high and fierce as they look, will not take you down. They can’t, because, you have the Savior with you and He walks on the water in storms like these.

Bless you my friend. Look back at your life and thank God for your story. Use your gifts. Don’t hold back. Love with an open heart.  Let God use you! Walk with Him and give away everything that He’s put inside of you.

The best part, is that it isn’t over.

“Everyone has a happy ending. If you’re not happy then its not the end.”

– Source Unknown

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4 thoughts on “The Stories That We Are

  1. Gutsy. Thank you for sharing. I find it amazing that you can think and feel all those things in the time that this is all going on. I never realize what I’m thinking or feeling until after it’s all done. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Your welcome! Feeling so much can be difficult when things don’t happen as I plan them to. I’ve had my share of freak out moments. But, I don’t like drama, which means I’ve learned not to believe what I’m feeling all the time. My emotions can get me into trouble so I’m learning to be more logical as I walk through the emotional.

      1. That’s great that you are learning balance. I can’t imagine it is easy. I know for my part balance isn’t easy. I am working on discovering or focusing on my emotions more. It is just so easy to fall back into old habits and separate emotions from my actions.

      2. I was wondering if it was easier to not feel during an event and then sift it out afterwards. Is that a safeguard or more your personality?

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