As any top-rope climber knows, there are only two things you can trust on the climb: the rope and the belayer. Your life depends on the strength of the rope and the attention of the person holding the rope. Too much would be fatal. Too little keeps you from where you need to go. Having someone invested in your ascent and your making it to the ground safely is what makes the climb possible.
What’s your back up plan? When things don’t work, do you reach for more control? Do your your fists tighten on anything that’s within reach? Or, does resignation set in? In the vein of not being disappointed, do you drop your head and declare, “This is just the way it is”? Or, do you go nuts on the people in your life?
When things don’t work, what do you do?
Over the last few weeks, the curtain has been pulled back on how much I don’t trust God. I trust Him. . . to a point, but not enough to drop my back-up plan. Mostly, I rely on my computer. My theory is . . . “Well, I’ll just find it,” and I will spend hours looking for the needs of my heart. Amazon, the classifieds, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. I’ll google anything that I need. I am absolutely sure that if I can’t see it in front of me, I’ll find it online.
(Oh ye of little faith)
My faith in God as Father is lacking. My experience of what I have believed to be Him incredibly rocky, and in my heart, I’ve drawn some lines in the sand. I’ll trust you here but __________ not here. And, then I wonder why God feels distant and I feel so alone.
Recently, I rubbed out those lines. I looked my Father full on in the face and said, “I am here. I am open and I am ready.” There were no expectations. I wanted to hear the truth and He spoke. Clearly. He made me face some lies I’d been believing and I had to let go of what’s been holding me back. Only after doing that could He guide me. And, for once, I left His guidance as my only option.
For once, I am not striving, not stressing and not freaking out over what’s next. There were a couple of days where I thought, “What if this doesn’t work out?” Then, after a couple of days, I thought, “Well, I’ll do whatever He tells me to do next.”
What a thought.
I don’t know how this is going to work out but the only way to find out is to walk it. I am on this path. My feet are dusty. I may get tired but I am here, I am open and I am not looking for another out.
Trust the Father. Trust the path. Another way may look incredibly tempting, but it won’t get you where you want to go. Trust Him on the ascent and on the way down. He is invested in your story. He wants you to do this well.
Let me know how it goes. I want to hear your glory story. I want to hear how God came through for you.